Hello, my name is Maria and today we’re talking about “The Like Switch” by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins.
This book is an ex-FBI agent’s guide to attracting, influencing and winning over people.
And these are the “eyebrow flash”, the “head tilt”, and the “smile”.
These three ideas are important to implement before you engage someone in conversation.
The first one is the “eyebrow flash”, and a lot of times we do this without even realizing, when we start walking towards someone we want to talk to we raise our eyebrows slightly.
We’re programmed to receive these as a friendship signal.
And Schafer talks about how by tilting your head to left or to the right, you can come across as more open and friendly.
By tilting our head to the left or to the right, we are exposing our carotid artery which is a very important artery in terms of sending oxygenated blood to the brain.
And by doing that, we’re exposing ourselves more.
We’re subconsciously letting the other person know that we trust them and we’re not scared to interact with them.
So it’s something I’ve become more aware of and I’ve really started to implement.
And the third friendship signal is the “smile”.
Schafer talks about a fake vs. genuine smile.
For showing a fake smile, it be more lopsided so it might be [demonstrating fake smile], more dominant on this side.
And also there’s no real eye wrinkles here, but if I’m fully engaged in the smile it’s.
It’s much bigger of a smile here, so you can see in the wrinkles of my eyes and symmetry of my mouth.
Schafer explains the “Golden Rule” to be, “if you want people to like you, you have to make people feel good about themselves.”
And so in order to do that, we have to implement empathic statements.
These are statements that focus the attention of the conversation on the person you’re talking to.
And a good way of doing this is to imagine starting with “so you…”, “so you seem to be having a good time.”
I’m immediately placing the concentration of the conversation on the person, and by doing that, I’m not only showing that I’m interested in them and how they’re feeling, but I’m also showing that I’m aware and picking up on the signals they’re sending me.
And there’s a quote in this book that I really love that explains this well.
And the quote is “Friends are those rare people that ask how you’re doing, and then wait to listen for the answer.”
This is so important in our society, because a lot of times when we’re passing by people we say “hey, how are you doing” and then they respond “good or great” but we just take that for granted, we’re not really listening.
This quote really highlights the importance of listening and asking a question and listening to the information in response to that question.
And this is so important in relationship to the previously mentioned empathic statements because once you’ve used your first empathic statement and made a comment about how you think they’re doing, and they respond, you have to pick up on what they’re saying in order to develop the conversation.
And being able to actively listen is so important, because if you’re not really understanding what they’re saying, you can’t develop a genuine and authentic relationship with them.
So it’s important to listen to what they’re saying and build the relationship from there.
For example, when he’s talking about empathic statements, he has various dialogues that show how these can be implemented effectively and that’s something really helpful because he’s combining the theoretical ideas with some practical examples.
And similarly, the second positive I liked in this book, is that when it came to concepts and ideas related to physical behaviors such as the three friendship signals, there were pictures that highlighted the differences.
It was very helpful having these images, because it made the process of understanding what he was talking about a lot easier for me.
Personally, I would have liked to have seen chapter summaries at the end of this book, because there’s so much information. having that chapter summary at the end of each section would have helped me have an overview of what I’ve gone over in that specific section.
First of all, millennials should definitely read this book, because I think in our generation with technology and the use of cellphones our social skills are not very good.
Reading this book can help give us a better understanding of how to improve our communications with other people.
And really this book is for anybody who thinks they have a weakness in their social interactions with other people.
Whether that be in their personal life or in their professional life.
It can help you in your dating as well as in forming relationships at work or trying to increase your customer base.
I think it’s such an important topic just in general in so many parts of our lives that this book is suited for most people.
So that’s it, that’s my book review of “The Like Switch”.
I hope you enjoyed it, and I’d love to hear your thoughts if you read this book and if you have any questions about the book please ask them in the comments below or through my social media.
If you want to see what I talked about here in a written format or you want more information on the author, please head over to my blog www.promotekdbook.com.
And next week I’ll be back with another book review.
Until then, keep reading and keep learning.
========================================================Purchase Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IWTWO8C